From school age we’re constantly being pushed to set goals and work towards achieving them.
Nothing wrong with that on the surface.
However, these ‘means’ goals tend to be ones that are expected by the culture we live in and not necessarily what will make us happy and fulfilled.
They’re also rooted in the Industrial Age.
Learn the difference between ‘Means goals’ and ‘End goals’ and then take a simple 6 minute exercise that could literally change your life by asking yourself the 3 Most Important Questions!
These are the goals that society says you need to do in order to realise a particular target.
A typical example would be this sequence;
- Study hard to get qualifications at school so you can go to university
- Study hard at university so you can get an internship with a large corporate organisations
- Secure a job as a junior manager so you can earn a decent salary, get married, have kids and work your way up the corporate ladder
- Work harder to get promoted so you can earn more money, drive an upmarket car and move into an executive house
- Retire with a reasonable pension and start to enjoy your life aged 65 (my Dad passed away at 65 and my sister at 49 so that didn’t work for them, I’m sad to say……)
All of these goals may be useful to a certain extent but they’re not the end goal.
They’re not what life’s about!
Don’t ever get confused or deluded.
Achieving these ‘means’ goals doesn’t result in happiness and fulfillment. Quite the opposite in many cases.
‘Midlife crisis’ is a common phenomenon. A person reaches the mid point of their life (maybe around 50 years old like me!) and experiences a loss of confidence and self worth. Maybe they start suffering from anxiety, often disappointed about where they are in life and what they’ve achieved.
Also how many times do you see rich and successful people going into meltdown?
Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley, says we need to get rid of these ‘means’ goals and instead go straight for the end goals if we are to live truly fulfilling lives.
He explains that all ‘end’ goals fall into 3 categories and all 3 categories flow between each other;
These goals should be things that get you excited, make your heart sing and will bring you meaning and deep satisfaction to your life.
To have these life EXPERIENCES, ask yourself;
- What GROWTH do I need and what type of person do I need to become?
- What skills do I need to work on?
- What ideas should I be exposed to?
- In what areas of mental, physical and intellectual health do I need to grow?
So where do we go after all of these experiences and growth?
We give back!
CONTRIBUTION is one of the key human needs on the road to happiness.
Whether it’s in work, family, society or your community, we all feel more fulfilled if we can contribute.
Now you understand the difference between ‘means’ and ‘end’ goals, jump into the 6 minute exercise that Vishen believes will ‘give you the blueprint to your soul’.
The 3 Most Important Questions : The Exercise
- What do you want to EXPERIENCE in life?
- How do you want to GROW and develop yourself?
- How do you want to CONTRIBUTE to the world?
Divide a sheet of paper into 3 columns, 1 to answer each question.
Spend no more than 2 minutes on each question to avoid overthinking.
Think big with no limitations!
Tune into your heart more than your head and let your feelings flow.
Click here to link to the Mindvalley site to watch Vishen’s video about this exercise and for useful pointers to guide you when considering each question.
If you really want to target happiness and fulfilment in your life, then don’t delay in doing the exercise. You’ll not regret it.
There’s no time like the present to start to Build Your Ideal Life……….!
I’d love to know how you get on so please leave a comment or email firstname.lastname@example.org
For more tips on Building Your Ideal Life, check out my post entitled ‘How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed’
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